Learn How To Keep Patience In Any Situation!
Have you ever wondered why sometimes it’s so hard to be a patient person? Why it’s so easy to get agitated when something takes too long? Why is it so hard to spend more time on just one thing?
If the answer is yes to any of those questions, you know what it’s like to be impatient. But don’t worry, you’re not alone in feeling this way…
In fact, most people go through this many times in their lives, some are simply better at hiding it. What’s important is that we realize anyone can get impatient, but it’s not something we have to struggle with our entire lives.
Since you’re reading this article, it means you’re already on the right track!
The next logical step is becoming more patient, of course. But in most cases, understanding how to practice patience is easier said than done…
If everyone was extremely patient, the world would probably be a better place by now. There would be less conflict, anger, frustration, and less negative emotions overall.
So why is it so hard to be patient? As with anything in life, we become impatient for a reason…
Where there is a cause, there’s an effect. It’s the same with impatience, which is the effect.
But what are the causes of impatience? Let’s try to understand why we can get so impatient in the first place.
So why are we impatient anyway?
Picture yourself standing in a line to get coffee or a drink. Even though you don’t mind doing this normally, it’s taking a little longer than usual.
A realization slowly creeps up to you – you’re basically standing there and doing nothing but practicing patience.
What happens when you do nothing? You start to feel like something is out of place.
There can be many underlying reasons for this. You might be in a hurry, you might be late, or your mind could just be worn out from life in general.
That causes it to slowly turn into anxiety, agitation, and slowly building anger. Because you feel like you’re wasting precious time because you need to make every minute count.
All of these quite often point towards one main cause that affects all of us to some extent – modern society. Or to be more specific, it’s the way we place so much value in efficiency, productivity, and multitasking.
We’re expected to do as much as possible in as little time as possible. Even then, the boundary of what’s “possible” keeps getting pushed forward with each passing year.
It’s like an endless race where everyone only speeds up as time goes on. So we try to keep up…
Not because we want to, but because we have to. Because we’ll get left behind by everyone else if we don’t.
So we optimize every hour, minute, and even second, going a hundred miles per hour each and every day. When we encounter someone who doesn’t have that same sense of urgency, it’s very easy for us to lash out at them.
To the point, it has become an absolutely normal thing to do. But is it really normal?
Is always rushing somewhere and doing something really the proper way to live? Do we have to constantly be in motion to make the best of our lives?
It’s time to change your perspective
We hear stories of billionaires like Elon Musk having worked 100 hours a week, so we assume that’s what it takes to be successful and live a fulfilling life.
This brutal and unrelenting work ethic gets glorified to the point it becomes a widespread belief, causing us to endlessly pursue efficiency, productivity, and proclivity.
Everything else other than work starts to feel like a waste of time, especially at times when we don’t do anything. The real answer – it’s simply a matter of perspective.
Think about it – only we, as humans, realize the passage of time, so the concept of wasting time only exists to us. To every other creature, big or small, time spent doing nothing is just living — surviving.
Simply put, anything aside from getting food, eating, drinking, and sleeping is, and always will be, a waste of time. It’s simply our tendency, as intellectual beings, to make everything seem overly complex. To put widespread beliefs above everything else.
This doesn’t mean we should become primal or anything, but we should consciously avoid slipping into a hive mind mentality. Realize that there exists more than one correct opinion — that there’s more than one correct choice…
What’s important is that you should be living for yourself, first and foremost, so only you know what’s best for you. Try to invest in yourself, educate yourself, do things that make you happy, and try to live a more fulfilling life, even if all of it is technically a waste of time.
When you prioritize these things above everything else, your time truly becomes yours. You’re spending your own time, you’re in control. This understanding creates a feeling of liberation, which makes it that much easier to be patient.
But changing your outlook on life is barely the first step on the road to pacience. There are still many other things you can do to be patient with yourself and others.
It’s your choice on what you actually want to try, but rest assured, it works. Just remind yourself that it’s an ongoing effort throughout your life to become a beacon of patience.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, baby steps to giant strides, and yadda yadda yadda. You must’ve heard a million of these sayings.
The main idea is that persistence and effort lead us to great heights. How you practice patience depends entirely on you, but I can give you some effective suggestions…
Reinforce your state of mind
In just about anything in our daily lives, the mind serves as the centerpiece. The way we feel, the way we act, and the way we think.
What happens when our mind isn’t in the right place? We start feeling negative emotions, we can’t act the way we want to, we can’t think properly, and we can’t force ourselves to be calm and patient.
The key here is to reinforce our state of mind. Or to be more precise – getting rid of all the negative factors in our lives.
It’s impossible to do it all at once, so take it easy. Pinpoint all the negative factors in your life and get rid of them one by one.
While these factors vary from person, some of them are more widespread. To point you in the right direction, we’ll go over two of the more common ones.
#1 Reduce stress
At the very top them all is stress. Every living being experiences stress to some extent, so we, as humans, are no different.
Some of us have it less, some of us have it more, but too much stress has the same negative effects on everyone.
Stress from work, stress from family issues, or stress from unfortunate circumstances. Any type of stress, physical or mental, reduces your ability to be patient.
But what can we do about it? The solution is quite obvious to anyone – it’s to reduce stress and eliminate sources of stress.
The difficult part is actually putting this solution into effect. You need to choose the correct approach for it to work.
What happens in most cases is, we focus on the massive sources of stress to such an extent everything else escaped our notice.
We try to fix it, but very often it proves too hard. That’s what makes choosing the correct approach very important.
You wouldn’t want to fight a difficult enemy when you’re surrounded by ninjas and you don’t even realize it, would you?
If you want to find out how to reduce stress effectively, you can check out one of our previous posts, containing some of the best techniques to reduce stress.
But wait, how does reducing stress help you to be patient? I’m glad you asked.
Think of stress as a pool of water you’re standing in. When there’s little stress, with the pool reaching barely up to your ankles, it feels refreshing.
When there’s a moderate amount of stress, the pool reaches up to your waist. Your body becomes sluggish, so it’s hard to move around and do things, but it’s still doable.
When there’s a lot of stress, the pool reaches up to your neck. You desperately try not to drown in it…
But eventually, you succumb and drown anyway. This causes your mind to break, reverting you to a basic state, where you abandon almost all logical reasoning.
You react to the things around you and respond defensively. To bad with bad and to good with bad.
If you’ve heard anyone say “he/she is not acting like himself/herself”, that’s the moment when it has happened. You can’t really be patient in that type of state, can you?
#2 Come to terms with fear
Next in line is fear, a very primal emotion almost everyone has experienced at least once. It comes in many shapes and forms, but just like stress, fear is a double-edged sword.
Normally it’s something that helps us sense danger and avoid death. Like understanding a sharp object can cause you to bleed, or realizing that the bear charging at you head-on will inflict more than a few scratches.
Unfortunately, it can override our logical reasoning as well with very intense episodes of fear or in the form of phobias. For example, coulrophobia – an irrational and unexplainable fear of clowns.
I’ve never really liked clowns, but Stephen King really did a number on me with Pennywise. Now, whenever I see a clown I feel this intense urge to be as far as possible from that hideous red and white face.
Forget being patient, forget standing still, and forget realizing that children actually enjoy being near that monstrosity. Fear has complete control over me.
It doesn’t only manifest as an urge to escape. It can happen with everyday things like wondering if you turned the oven off.
The fear comes from the fact that, if the oven is still on, your kitchen might catch fire, leading to horrible things. So you feel this irresistible urge to know, to find out, and to go do something about it.
In this type of scenario, the last thing on your mind is to be patient. It basically comes down to managing our fear.
Even if you realize fear can be a problem, try not to go overboard with it. The goal isn’t you becoming fearless, but you not being controlled by fear.
As with stress, slow and steady wins the race, you won’t improve at the flip of a switch. Simply keep at it, and soon you’ll notice the results.
You have it in you to be patient!
Perspective, stress, and fear are just three of the many causes of impatience. It’s up to you to find out your reasons, act on them, and finally master patience.
Even if it’s difficult, even if many problems are connected and interlocked like a spider’s web, I know you can do it, I know you have the patience to do it.
Why do I believe that you ask? Because by making it to the end of this post, you proved one thing above all else – you know can be patient.
Most people can read, but because of our fast-paced and short attention span society, very few of them actually have the patience to read.
This is especially the case with long posts, articles, and books. The best they tend to do is skim the titles and give up halfway through a paragraph, moving onto the next eye-catching thing.
You’re different – not only can you be patient when you want to, but you also enjoy reading. All that’s left is to just continue on, to practice being more patient.
What’s important is that you’ve already started, which sets you further ahead than yourself from minutes ago. You’re already on the path to be patient and eventually become a beacon of patience.
And what better way to do that other than reading a book. I’ll even save you the trouble of looking for one.
A free e-book for your convenience, containing perspective-altering, mindset-strengthening, and life-empowering tips. All in an accessible and easy to digest format. (just click on the book below)
Whether you just started developing your patience or have been at it for a long time, feel free to share your take on it. After all, one of our greatest advantages is that we can learn from each other.
I’ll be seeing you in my next blog post. If there’s anything you’d like to know about, let me know.
Until then, have patience and live empowered!
Here’s some additional tips on patience from Diving Deep: